taking a toll on my heart.
goodness, this hurts unbelievably and if i wasnt insane, with all the screaming an such before, i am now, to the furthest extreme.

the ground was shaking and the sky was breaking, clearing the way to victory.

{exercising}
my:

head hurts from thinking
body from the needle

heart from the pressure

spirit from denial

so dont you save me.
dont you save me now.

i couldnt be further from the truth.

my mind kills from the inside out.
i Guess evidence of it all will show up on your door step when next you have fermata over for tea.
{people write when they're emotional}
i guess i could write you a perfume-scented letter, exactly what ive been adviced not to do. i could write you a story full of symbolic messages and double meanings and hope you have the mind to understand it all. i know i could give you reason til you're so sick of blueberries you'll hate me forever. {so opposite day cant exist} but i want quite the opposite.
tears and rain -- will be the death of me
i tried to eat ice cream. i didnt taste it until the last spoonful. i guess this is what it's like to feel nothing. to be without sense. {everything would be easier if i were sensible}

no you know what. ive got more to say.
"and now these three remain: faith, hope and love."
and now more:
love an unbeliever, how can you compromise your faith by loving them beyond the line, then try to "convert" them after you have already lost. how can you say "God is my #1." when you already made him/her your number one. it's an oxymoron to them. there is no win, you've already lost.

the difference between love and romance:
you can love God, but you can't romance God. -- from an unexpected source.

tada:
means so much more, meant to make sense, meant to be for you but i didnt get that far; yet.
agility dines with pride and pride offers its best {potatoes} at times like these
games only work in a classroom, life isnt a game, love isnt a game
guilty of a days fun but not willing to change around for tomorrow, denial at its best
i so hate the hate of confrontation
e.


Lord i pray, do forgive me.