from the personal notebook of a sixteen year old Try-Too-Hard.
Inside Scoop.(IS for short) - when writing is frowned upon.

1. waiting for someone to come 'round the corner and let me run to them and they spin me. when: we were staring at the sky and saw a shooting star and he spun me, picked me up and spun me.

2. dont let me be a burden. ta ya and ya.

3. boys are sensitive too.

4. sitting 'round the fire: one's humming, he stops and the other whistles, she stops and i sing. thats a summary of the joy transfered. joy circulated up and around every language {broken} barrier.

5. a tent of any size is an excellent place to write a story. that being said, i have to justify in my mind and therefore on paper why i am two feet from a tent and not in it, writing. three reasons: my tent zipper is broken, im on an anti-anti-social streak, and the sun is finally come alive. (at nearly the same time as i bought my sunny yellow rainjacket, whish is another story, which goes like this: it starts with a little bit...a lot...of pouring rain, and me without a raincoat. when im at the point where my hair is sticking up in little frizzy curly cues, which im told are cute, but which /i/ think are positively revoltin. or maybe not quite that positive, but at least a little bit icky. i run towards the nearest shelter. which just happens to be, fortunetly and quite conveniently enough, one of those log cabins with a red painted sign, that, if you read between the lines says, "i sell raincoats to all the weary and borken hearted, catch me if you can!" while im waiting for the strom to run along, i try on every shape, colour, and size raincoat that this little...big...outfitters holds. of course i despise them all, but as it continues to pour, i become more and more desperate and settle for a bright, but soft, yellow raincoat. i prepare myself for my next, undesired shower, and pretend to scan the tag on the sleeve of my new, /also/ undesired, jacket. the door slams and my head bogs right off the heart of another. the other tells me that in all of the rain, i am the sun in my yellow rainjacket. now answer me this: why is that so reoccuring, but as well, undesirable in amongst all the other lies...or perhaps not lies, but hasty expressions of slow-coming truth?

6. i wandered off, probably in search of solitude. had my head down on the ground but still tripping over the roots as my mind was floating around in a little story of its on. also tripped on a rotten board, hopped around, compared my foot size to the size of the wet foot print on the same rotten board, and pondered on the background of my little story...which i would tell if i could remember the details. then i lost myself on a log, threw away my map, and found peace.

peace is when my head's story ends and when my innocent thoughts of when i lived witout and before certain people in my life and lo ve and hate they brought and before those silly teenage doubts fill my head return. found a pretty something that stuck from the water, then reflected in the same water, creating a beautiful star that im sure the group of seven must have found, stole my thoughts from the future, and my eyes, and painted.

7. call the national gaurd if you bit a lip, breath wakened air past midnight.

8. face it honey, love lies across the ocean.

9. 'say the first thing in your head when you see me.' - snow patrol

10. everyone has their safe topics...which provide the edges of their necessary sheiled. behind the sheild, truth grasps the sheilds handhold. if you're skilled enough, have the proper knights training, you may be able to wiggle the sheild from your opponent and thus be presented with a vulnerable, perhaps cowardly, perhaps brave, child. but no matter how cowardly or brave, still a child. now if you're this childs perfect knight. (step right up) you may even be presented with the opportunity to be elevated high enough to be knighted a safe knight. the childs safe knight.

11. confrontation is the most difficult with:
a)people you dont know
b)people you're associated with through your parents
c)people older than you
d)people who hate confrontation
e)people younger than you

12. T or F. : it's better to accept someone for their faults and accept their faults than to confront them with you "dissatisfaction" ((exaggerated))

13. Tara Joy prefers a:
a)sunset
b)sunrise

14. words without words. woorden zonder woorden - de kast

15. new game: see how close you can get to someone in 3 and a half weeks. then see how quickly they can leave.

eh john!,
tickle joy.