semi

what do i want to do with my life?
that question suddenly took on a new angle tonight. so far up til now ive thought of that question as a sort of scary thing answered by something like: go to university, study, get a job i like, get married, do the kids thing, grow old, be happy. and that just about covers it all. but tonight on the way home from Georgetown on my way past Mississauga i realized that question has so much more depth than i ever thought it might. my English self creative piece has been in my head all day. in it, i described myself as a stereotype. on my way home i thought about my identity. my identity is not my church, school, friends, family, etc. but it is shaped by those things. the success of the relationships i have with the world, within the world, and without the world will continually depend on my choices and decisions every second of every day. its those decisions that answers the question of what i want to do with my life and i guess more importantly, what i will do with my life. unfortunately this late discovery has only made me more frightened and more unsure in some of the decisions i am facing right now.

and so it is
just like you said ti would be
life goes easy on me
most of the time
and so it is
the shorter story
no love, no glory
no hero in her sky

i cant take my eyes off of you
i cant take my eyes off you
i cant take my eyes off of you
i can take my eyes off you
i cant take my eyes off you
i cant take my eyes...

and so it is
just like you said it should be
we'll both forget the breeze
most of the time
and so it is
the colder water
the blowers daughter
the pupil in denial

i cant take my eyes off of you
i cant take my eyes off you
i cant take my eyes off of you
i can take my eyes off you
i cant take my eyes off you
i cant take my eyes...

did i say that i loathe you?
did i say that i want to
leave it all behind?

i cant take my mind off of you
i cant take my mind off you
i cant take my mind off of you
i cant take my mind off you
i cant take my mind off you
i cant take my mind...
my mind...my mind...
'til i find somebody new
blowers daughter - damien rice

im not pleased, but i still sit up late waiting for you to come home. and so it is.

my eyelids laugh at me,
max